Another All-Nighter For The Books.

I couldn't think of a lamer way to start off an entry, but it's an easy out for that first-journal-in-a-long-ass-time awkwardness. I still haven't discerned a clear purpose for this account - I've been think about posting links to mix-CD's I make somewhere, and this might just be the place.  That being said, I'll go ahead and try it out: 

Some 90's independent music I burned for a friend:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6ACQQ46C
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3YWK709Q 

Description: The person who requested these was a girl, and likes girly music. That being said, they both have some stellar tracks that can be enjoyed by anyone. Both span genres from pop to cow punk to twee to psych , and even some bossa nova from one of my personal favorites, Jim Ruiz. 

Recommended For: Everyone who likes relatively chill/spacey music. 

A 60's psych comp I put together for Mia:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=X0MU5DKJ  

Description: A mix of obscure psychedelic tracks from waaaay back in the day. These are all really well picked and capable of making you trip right the hell out. A couple of 'em are somewhat well-known, having appeared on much beloved multi-disc sets like Nuggets, but most come from long out-of-print albums and tiny-label reissues. This type of music was my hobby for the past year so definitely worth the whole ten minutes it takes to download. 

Recommended For: You. 

I think I'll follow that up with testing out my other possible plan for this - a place for personal thoughts. I recently spent this past year employed at a law office as a clerk and runner. It had been my intention to use the job as a means for paying for living expenses and a summer course. I worked late almost every day, and when I'd finished everything, I'd always ask my supervisor(s) what else there was I could to to help out. I busted my ass picking up slack for an alcoholic paralegal, and when one of our others left, I stressed the hell out getting that shit done, too. All for $8.50 an hour. Coming back to my apartment exhausted every day, I couldn't help but feel like I had it made, like my plan had been set in motion and my hard work was destined to make it succeed. I was wrong. The reality of it was that the alcoholic paralegal was also mental. I saw the signs of both her obsession with exerting control, and her tendency to do so in arbitrarily hateful and senseless ways. This was the type of woman (and by "type", I mean she actually did this) who would see a homeless person asleep on the sidewalk and call the cops to get rid of him - just so she could laugh at how she had exerted some sort of power in the world. So, it almost seems logical that she would lie to the head of the firm (which is what she did) about me being a bad worker, and use her 30 years of experience in the field (and 50 some-odd as being a crazy bitch) to have me "laid off". Knowing the lies she told about me, I wouldn't be surprised if it had been both her and the head of the firm's intention to have me work through the fall and spring, and then fire me before the summer started so they could have their more experienced $10 an hour guy work both jobs during the summer. I'm not sure if the latter makes that much sense, but regardless, these people were idiots, and regardless, I was left without a job just as finals week began. Having seen my master plan fall apart like that, I'll venture to say my performance wasn't stellar. I had to leave my apartment, and without money, let go of my social life. Since then it's been a rocky road of countless job applications and let downs. As I type this, read it, and think to myself  "What in God's name have I had to be happy about in the past three months?"  I consider hope. The hope that maybe tomorrow the phone call I get will be a good one, the hope that maybe all of this will fix itself in some screwed up way. The hope, I suppose, that time won't betray me. I also have a lot of things to be thankful for, but the negative direction my personal goals have gone in has been nothing short of emotionally stifling, and so I rest on hope.